i n s o m n i a
by naughty teacup
Summary: Went a little nutty with the random word generator one night. 13 drabbles spawned from this, one for each organization member. Will contain slash. Each drabble has own genre and rating.
1. d a z z l i n g

_[I went bananas with a random word generator and thought of the brilliant yet totally not original idea of writing a drabble for each organization member with a random word as their 'theme'. Oh joy. There'll be individual ratings and genres for each drabbles but I can't be bothered posting 13 stories hence the 'general' genre and M rating. The general title for these drabbles have absolutely nothing to do with them. I just thought it sounded cool and was rather fitting seeing I do most my writing from one to five a.m. Enjoy.  
_**disclaimer: **this is a disclaimer for all thirteen chapters. I do not own the characters or Kingdom Hearts or the Orgy and I'm not making any money from writing this.

okthnxbai

**  
i n s o m n i a  
****chapter i: **d a z z l i n g  
**X E M N A S**

**rating: **T  
**genre:** crack/humour  
**pairings: **none  
**authoress' note: **Probably not as funny as the mere thought of writing a prompt for Xemnas with the word 'dazzling'. Oh, well. Probably ooc but it's 'crack' so who cares? Un-betaed so all mistakes are mine. Try not to make your brain hurt by reading my over used italics and clams.

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**Xemnas** stared incredulously at the scrap of paper before him. He had sent a Dusk to fetch number VII for him and forty minutes later it came back holding… _this_. His brows creased with worry. The offending object lay on his desk, seeming to mock him. He should have know better when the Dusk he had sent to get the Luna Divider came back and handed him the scrap of paper, looking as if it was trying to hold back spouts of laughter (either that or it was constipated, but Xemnas did _not_ want to go there). He didn't even know Dusks could _do_ that!

It looked harmless enough, a folded scrap of paper, no worries… right? At this moment Xemnas would have taken the time out of his busy schedule and given you a long icy look of doom, destruction and 'you are about to get pwn'd-'ness. Yes, this was indeed worrying. He contemplated finding number VII himself and ask him what in the name of Kingdom Hearts this was about, but something held him back. He knew very well Nobodies like himself didn't have feelings so technically he shouldn't be like this but let's imagine for one moment that he_ theoretically_ had a heart which would allow him _theoretically_ to have feelings, then Xemnas was pretty sure the sensation he was not feeling right now was one of being slightly put out and at the same time, one of mock resentment.

Now, what in The World That Never Was could have wrenched the Superior from his daily routine of dread, gloom and unhealthy moon gazing? It was a flyer. A small five by four inch flyer which apparently belonged to number VII. On one side it looked perfectly innocent, bleached white glossy paper and a smooth surface looking very professional. On the other side it was a bright_ pink_ and I'm not talking rosy pink or baby pink but _80's punk girl on acid's stiletto pink_. Hot, bold and glaring pink. Yes,_ that_ pink. In the centre of the flyer, trying to look sexy and captivating but failing spectacularly, was a model (he supposed it was a model, no_ normal_ woman looked that plastic fantastic). She had long, blonde hair billowing behind her in some sort of _wind _(no doubt as fake as the hair billowing in it, he thought with an inner snarl), wearing minimal clothing, impossibly high shoes (it actually looked very much like that pair from that very painful and embarrassing_, not that he had feelings or anything_, incident _which they were never to speak of again_, but he didn't want to go there either) and a smile that looked like if she should ever stop her face would crack and fall off.

Bright _yellow _(and he did _not_ shudder, it was merely a slight... muscle spasm) letters glared mockingly up at him (on second thought, they seemed to _twinkle_ and_ laugh_ and look entirely too merry for the Organization's establishment to be entirely proper). Bold, capital letters with many, dare he think it, _cheery_ exclamation points, it's original intent probably meant to give a hip and _cool_ (his upper lip curled with disgust) impression but did nothing but absolutely appal him. They splashed out the message, raping his eyes as he read it, for a new type of _very_ feminine shampoo called… _Super Dazzling_. Underneath it read something which was apparently supposed to be their slogan;

_Dull and dreary? Not anymore! Super Dazzling, get those super luscious locks we know you want! Become dazzled, today!_

Now, all these THINGS (even when brought together in the most horrendous way, as of now) wouldn't have been quite enough to bring number one to the stunned speechlessness he was currently feeling. Oh, no. Not at all. What had highly disturbed him was the message scrawled in the corner with number VII's neat, distinguishable hand writing;

'_get for superior'_.

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**authoress' note: **Now that was probably not as funny as I thought it was at three in the morning. New chapter up tomorrow for Xigbar (and yes, it will be slash because it's XigDem day!!)


	2. b l o t c h

**i n s o m n i a  
****chapter ii: **b l o t c h  
**X I G B A R**

**rating: **T  
**genre:** romance  
**pairings: **Xigbar/Demyx  
**authoress' note: **Happy XigDem day!! Yes, I know this is super short. But these are drabbles so don't expect anything much longer. Pleeeeaaase review though! –total whore for reviews- Reviews make me really, really happeh!

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Xigbar was by all accounts a hardened man, his body was a living map of scars and toughened tissue to prove that. He couldn't clearly remember what Braig was like but he reckoned he was a tough badass like himself, any other presumption would be rather insulting to his very non-being. Which is why the sensation Xigbar was currently _not really_, but still _feeling _didn't make much sense to him. And yet, he thought with a crooked smile, as he watched the swaying hips of number IX walk away from him (busy physically enacting some tune that Xigbar couldn't hear but he could still _feel_, though _not really_, the tug in his chest and the equal tug in his groin), he didn't care much for logic and the uneven reddening of skin and the crooked smile as number IX noticed his scrutinizing stare, made up for whatever puzzlement he would have over the topic in the future. 


End file.
